Transparency

I'm having a hard time finding the words that I want to say.  I desperately want to be transparent.  So here it goes.  I'm not perfect, although I confess that I am a perfectionist.  Hiding my flaws has become a daily routine.  One I'm not proud of, but to bare my faults would be to induce fear.  I've never been good at letting people in past the walls.  I've set up so many barriers "to protect myself" because allowing people to see past the facade might cost me something.  They may change their opinion of me or say something rude.  Even as I write this, I think about the consequences of transparency.  On the other hand, I'm also reminded that there is only one opinion that matters.  Everyone can turn from me, but God will always remain.  His opinion carries more weight than my closest friends or relatives.  I hope that as I continue to grow closer to God and experience the fullness of his love, all else will fade away.  You see, this all stems from pride, which is an issue of the heart.  The heart deals with love.  Love is God's specialty.  What have I to fear?  God is enough.