Last summer was a busy one for me. I traveled to multiple states and learned a lot through my experiences. This summer has been more calm, so I want to take some time to reflect on what God has been teaching me these past few months. Having all those new experiences last year was great, and God really used those to shape me. However, He has also used the calm of this summer to teach me some valuable lessons.
Back in June, I began reading "The Search for Significance" by Robert S. McGee. I really enjoyed this book and all that it taught me about myself and my relationship with God. Also, I now realize that this book was perfectly placed in my life. What I mean is that God placed it in my path at just the right time to teach me something that I might have missed at another point in my life. When I began reading this book, I was also just starting a new job for the summer. I was getting caught up in a lot of guilt over not doing things right at my job. I felt that I needed to perform perfectly in order to be accepted by my coworkers. Additionally, I felt that perfection had to be achieved in order to feel good about myself. My mind was operating in a dangerous and unhealthy way.
Truth began to seep into my mind and overtake the unhealthy thoughts as I read what McGee had to say. He mentions multiple times in the book that we are fully pleasing to God. This concept was a difficult one for me to grasp. How can sinners be "fully pleasing"? I wanted to fight back and tell God all of the reasons that I am not fully pleasing. However, as I began my argument, I felt God pushing back. I heard Him telling me to stop fighting the truth. I am, we are, fully pleasing to Him because we have been made righteous by accepting Jesus.
When God began to fight back, I began to listen. I realized that my view of myself is not always correct. Just because it's my opinion does not make it right. This began a new way of thinking about myself. I had to start resisting my own unhealthy thoughts and accepting the healing words of God. Even when I messed up at work, I had to tell myself that everything was okay.
God's grace (unmerited favor) is so much bigger than my imperfections. It covers the large and the small mistakes. It covers the intentional and unintentional sins. His grace has no limit. While I understood that before, I had trouble applying it to my life. I struggled with giving myself grace. To be honest, I still struggle with giving myself grace. In the society we live in, grace isn't natural. We are told that every action has a consequence. In no way am I saying that we have a free pass to sin, but I am saying that love and grace need to be the basis of our approach when we find that we have sinned. So, in response to God's abundant grace for us, go and be gracious remembering to love God, love others, and love yourself.
Confession #3: Grace isn't always easy
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